Roller coster rides must be fun, is that why people puke on them?

Well I'm cresting for another plunge down the coaster!  I'm going to Mexico, I really don't want to go to Mexico.  He loves me he loves me not????  He is nice, sweet, kind, like the man I married........then bi-polar????  OMG I'm so not liking this ride!  I want to lay out my plan for the next year, next 5 years, and next 10 years.  I don't want any uncertainty in my life/marriage.  I want someone who I can share my heart with and show my true emotions to, that won't ignore my feelings.  Someone who truly cares about me.  The way I care for them.  I want to have fun and enjoy one another.  I want to plan fun times together, looking forward to life, our life.  I want to share my hopes and dreams.  I will have this in my life I deserve it I give this to the one I love!

How I feel today (after finding love letters to another woman)

I love you
you are my love
you opened my heart
and now you have broken my heart
for you have love for another
why is it that you cannot tell me the truth?
For lying is not the way to treat my heart
I would never do that to you and your heart
You will someday realize what you have done and it will be too late
I hate to see you throw your life away and take the easy way out
You betrayed me and our God
God still loves you and has hope for your future
I pray you do not turn to liqueur, this is not the answer.
It is a disease and all the men in your family seem to struggle with this problem.
I will always love you and pray that God will give you direction.
God loves you he knows every intimate detail about you he created you in your mothers womb.
He will never leave or forsake you
He is your helpmate
He cares for you
He wants only good things for you
He wants blessings for you and your family
He wants to restore and make right all transgressions
He died for you and wants to make your life full of victory
He wants you to share your thoughts with him
He will guide you
listen to the still small voice within, You will live in my heart forever and I will never be sorry for the love I experienced with you.
Thank you for giving me the joy I had with you.......I pray it will be as great or better with the one you LOVE!